The Name Curse

For those that don't know the story of my name, be prepared to be confused. My original name is Zachariah Z Hanson. Shortly after I was in existence, my parents got divorced. My mom ended up marrying a guy named Lanny Fitzsimmons. I decided at a young age that I'd prefer to be a Fitzsimmons as well to match up with the immediate family I lived with. Somehow my mom acquired another social security card that said Zachariah Z Fitzsimmons. This wasn't just a new name, but a new social security number as well. This seemed to serve as enough proof to get my original driver's license and other things that required a social security number. Apparently there was no actual legal name change done along the way.

I didn't really have any issues until Sara and I were preparing to get married over ten years ago. "What do we put on the marriage license?" Also around this time, I found out that my dad was a bit concerned about me carrying on my step-father's last name. My dad had altered his last name prior to all of this as well for the purpose of having a more unique name, as he was trying to be known as a self-employed artist. He took the first initial of his middle name and added it to his last name to make D'Hanson. As I was entering this new phase of life I decided to give in and change my name to Zachariah Z D'Hanson. Sara was originally on board to change her name too, but she backed out at the last minute because she felt weird taking a name that she's never associated to me before. So I went through the whole legal process to change my name, but then they couldn't figure out how to undo what wasn't done properly to start with. In other words, how do you change a driver's license that says Fitzsimmons to D'Hanson, when the only legal papers you have are converting Hanson to D'Hanson. How do you merge two social security numbers that say two different names? Nobody really knew how to fix it, so we gave up and just stuck with Fitzsimmons.

Now, I'm in Colorado, and my license expires at the end of next week. I went in to the DMV a few days ago and told the "number giving lady" that I'm from Minnesota and I need to get a Colorado driver's license. Her first question was, "does your current license have your full name?" I said, "yes" and showed it to her. She took a look at my middle name and said, "what does Z stand for?" I tried to convince her it was my full middle name, but she wouldn't accept it. I figured she was just being overly cautious, so went to another DMV the next day. I was denied AGAIN and the front counter. She said I could either prove my full name by my birth certificate or a passport. I don't have a passport and my birth certificate has a different last name on it. Today I tried again to see if I would have better luck with a different person. I also brought my birth certificate just in case they would let me get a license with Hanson as a last resort. This time, I actually made it passed the front desk so I was feeling optimistic. When my number was finally called, I did my best to "make friends" with the person who had the power to give or deny my driver's license. She was nice and began to enter my new address and verify all other information. Then she paused, stared at my license for a minute and said, "what's your middle name?" I explained the whole situation at that point and was eventually denied again until I can come up with some legal documents that prove that I've changed Hanson to Fitzsimmons (or possibly D'Hanson to Fitzsimmons).

After the second denial a couple days ago, I decided to start the name changing process. Here, in Colorado, they require me to get a background check done by getting two sets of fingerprints printed and sent to the FBI and the CBI. When I get the results back I can then start the paperwork with the state. This process could easily take two to three months. This will be beneficial in the long run, but doesn't do me much good with my almost expired license.

Since I've never been hassled when I've renewed in Minnesota, I'm very much tempted to fly back and do the renewal there. I would be really bummed if I went all that way and got denied again, but I'm not exactly sure what my immediate options are. Sara found a page on the CO DMV website that claims that there is an option to prove who you are by other means such as tax returns, employee w-2's, life insurance policy's, etc. I need to call on Monday and try to schedule an appointment with an investigator to see if this route is an option.

The timing of all of this is really a bummer, especially since we don't really have extra funds to be taking care of all of this stuff right now while I'm going to school. I guess I had plenty of time to take care of it before, I just didn't see the immediate need before now. I guess the bright side is that if I ever decide to be a criminal or a spy, I've already got some aliases to pick from... not many people can say that! :)